I’m not going to apologize for my inactivity, because I’ll probably have to apologize next month. Therefore I’m just going to update you guys on what has been happening with me. Guess what, I know what has caused most of my inactivity. You’ve probably guessed from the title of this post. I have been diagnosed with chronic depression and inattentive-type ADHD. Yay.
Actually, somehow I’m very relieved. I always thought that I was just extremely lazy. Now it turns out that my brain just hated me for some reason. This means I’m now taking medication to help me. I’m on an antidepressant and ADHD medication. At first it made me sick and anxious (plus a whole bunch of side-effects), but my body got used to it and now I feel somewhat normal.
At first I was somewhat upset that I had to get medication. My therapist scheduled my appointment with the local psychiatrist, which I was fine with. It was when I was told that I needed medical aid information from my parents that I became very anxious. Luckily they handled it well and luckily they don’t interrogate me for answers. They respect my space.
Anyway, what I’m looking forward to from my medication is that I will be able to operate normally without my brain freaking out, losing focus and overheating (metaphorically). It will help me concentrate on my university work, since I’m in my final year of undergrad next year, and I need all the brain power I can muster. Hopefully with mustering all this brain power, I will be able to write more, draw more and post more stuff. ‘Cause that’s just all I want; to be more creative.
The meds have done something to me. I do feel different, but I don’t know how to describe it. I feel more focussed, but then my mind drifts and then I feel anxious, walk around in circles and then fall on my bed; just like I did now before I wrote this paragraph. I’ve only recently been on the meds, and my psychiatrist say that results will be more visible in January, so I can’t wait for that!
Dammit, got distracted again. I really need to start concentrating more.
Hopefully I’ll be back soon, because I can’t remember what I wanted to write again. Ai, my brain, my brain.